The Home of Tax Free Asskicking

This guy was near my office, and he looked just like the Grim Reaper!

So I took a picture of him. Then, he looked at me. Instead of the skeletal face of death, there was this kind of squirrelly dude with a mustache who looked like he was wearing a black hoodie to hide his face from the cops.

I know I’ve been kind of fixated on comics lately, but this strip from the Perry Bible Fellowship had me chuckling for days whenever I thought about it. Heh heh heh. Guess it’s still working.

I kind of want to get a Unicorn Power T-shirt. I e-mailed the guy who does the comic, Nicholas Gurewich, and he said plans are in the works for just such a shirt as well as Pro-Skub and Anti-Skub shirts based on this comic. I’m totally Pro-Skub, by the way.

Wearing a pink “Unicorn Power!” t-shirt, I think I would get several types of reaction. I would make a cool USA Today pie chart, but I’m too lazy:

1% – “Wow, you read Perry Bible Fellowship,lol, I like that comic therefore I like you too!”

2 % – “You sure are brave to wear a shirt like that, sir. You are inspiring me to acts of Gay Pride!”

5 % – If I wore this shirt into a den of hipsters, they would immediately set down their laptops. Earbuds would come out in reverence and all would gaze through plastic-rimmed glasses in awe. “You are the one foretold of in prophecy,” the lead hipster would say. “For you are wearing the most ironic t-shirt ever of all time. Sit in this throne as we worship you as our new god.”

7 % – Would give me a weird look and pretend to ignore me.

84% – “Nice shirt, gay-wad!” (punch in the stomach)

1% (six-year-old girls) – “Yay, Unicorns!”

It would be kind of inconvenient since I’d have to explain to 84 % of people I met that it’s not gay if you’re being ironic, hopefully before they punched me. Or I could just wear it in Rehoboth and not care if people thought I was a flaming pinko.

I like the Perry Bible Fellowship because I think it is one of the only good comics out there right now. The comics page of newspapers was a dumping ground of cliches before, and after Calvin and Hobbes. PBF, on the other hand, is pure genius. First of all, there’s the artwork. Vague, puffy, happy looking people and awesome detail on the unicorns. The whole effect evokes the weird world of kids’ books and cartoons of the ’80s. The writing is always absurdist, like in this one, where he ascribes serious power to t-shirts. And I love the way he reveals just a bit of information in each panel with the last one tieing it all together. It’s very cinematic.

Update: I got a Unicorn Power shirt!!!!

I’m getting in on the cartoon contest action. Here’s the challenge: Take any phrase from the North Korean Central News Agency and illustrate it. Send it to me at sonobovich@yahoo.com, and I will then post it here if it is not the goatse picture. This will be good even if you are a totally sucky artist. Use any medium whatsoever, including and especially MS Paint. Here are some ideas:

 ”Repressive Machines”

“Speed Campaign Youth Shock Brigade”

“Cannibals in Human Skin” (Their pet name for U.S. troops)

 The video game “Splinter Shell 3″ (They obviously mean “splinter cell 3” This would be a good one to photoshop)

“well-shaped cucumber”

“Lurking behind this despicable conspiracy and collusion of traitors, human scums and remnants of history is a dark tentacle of the United States” 

 If you need more ideas, go to the Database of North Korean Propaganda. They have a searchable database of KCNA, and some fun search suggestions.

The winner gets a well-shaped cucumber, a floral basket and the gregorian calender will be reset based on your birthday. Send in your entries by March 30.

Michelle Malkin’s orgasm over the muslim cartoon riots shows no sign of abating. Frankly, I find the right wing’s free speech outrage to be pretty disingenuous. Fighting for free speech only counts if you disagree with what’s being said. Malkin is not offended by the Muhammed/bomber cartoons. Let’s see how she likes these apples!

Wingnut-bashing aside, I totally support Denmark. They have nothing to apologize for. After the snowstorm, I’m buying some Havarti.

The ostrich jerky is here!!!!

I passed the stuff around my office today. Universally, it was rejected by females and accepted by males. Why do women fear my ostrich jerky?

It’s as tough as a catcher’s mitt and tastes just like beef jerky. There is so much pepper, terriyaki, soy sauce and other spices that it is impossible to tell what the meat tastes like at all. Which is probably a good thing. It’s not bad, actually. I could eat it for a meal, but then again I’m not a picky eater. It definitely tastes better than muskrat.

These guys have made a few pretty good songs about video games. My favorite is Civilization. It’s about playing Civilization.

I rule my kingdom with an iron fist
None can resist my battle cry
I build a horseman and a chariot
Just to vary it
Psych out the A.I.

(So on, etc.)